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My Beef With/Watching The Woods: Idiot Slenderfans

Posted on January 10, 2013 at 11:50 PM

The title. Read it.


Okay, so I might be a newcomer to the Mythos, but I've seen enough idiotic behavior in it to last me a lifetime. This rant's gonna be short, and it's gonna be sweet, but I need to get it out of my system because it chafes me and it ruins my enjoyment of certain parts of the Mythos sometimes. Not that it ruins the Mythos itself for me, because as I've stated before, you can't ruin the Mythos. But it just irks me to see people behave this way in one of my fandoms. In fact, I've never seen more stupidity in a single fandom I enjoy than I have in the Mythos, and that makes me just a teensy-tiny bit ill. So please, allow me to tell you the types of fans I cannot STAND in this Mythos, and just to make sure you can spot the difference I'll list common types of fans these annoying fans are mistaken for. And please, if you ARE one of these annoying fans... just stop. And if you don't plan to stop, then stay the hell away from me for the rest of my natural life.

  • Annoying Fan #1 - The Fangirl: Oh how many times have I seen this annoying bitch. How many times have I come across someone who wants to pair her self-insert Mary-Sue OC with the Slenderman because LOLOLOLOL hes so hot and kawaii and cute and cuddly. Um, no. No, he's really not. You see, the Slenderman hurts people. Badly. He might not necessarily kill, and in fact I prefer it when he doesn't kill because there's a lot worse you can do to someone than outright kill them. But he is definitely dangerous in-universe. He makes people very, very sick, both mentally and physically. The people on his radar usually suffer pretty badly even if the interpretation in question is written as a neutral or even outright helpful character, and don't get me started on the many, many series and blogs that write him as a lot more evil or even outright disgusted with humanity. There are series and blogs where he's torn people apart. Hell, even I had the Slenderman physically tear a man in half in my short story I, Slenderman, and that was intended to be a relatively neutral, non-pure-evil interpretation! Point is, this creature's too alien to love you back, despite how much you might want him to. He doesn't get people and people really don't get him because he's the fear of the unknown given form, and therefore is unknowable. I have no issue with you thinking the character's "just lonely" or whatever, because... well, he could be, if it's written well I'll buy that he's lonely, sure. But I DO have a LOT of issue with your insisting that he's some chibi little hugglebunny that has chosen you/your character as the one oh-so-special snowflake that will be his mate foarevarz. Because that's not scary and not even close to anything resembling his original intent to be scary. I understand you might want to cut the fear down so you draw something silly. I've done that too. But the character is supposed to be frightening, and if you don't think he's scary in some way, shape, or form, then you're doing it wrong.
    • So, Who ISN'T This Fan?: The Female Slenderfan. Not all girls that are fans are fangirls. I'm a female Slenderfan, for example. So what makes me different from the Fangirl? Well, the big difference is that I'm not a fan of the character because I think he's cute or sexy or whatever. I'm a fan of the character because he is a damn cool monster. He plays with people's minds and I love bad guys that do that. He has freaking tentacles that can stretch to any length and that, at least in my headcanon, are probably strong enough to tear you limb from limb. He perfectly represents xenophobia. He's got urban legend and mythology appeal. He's the consummate master of the jumpscare as well as of the subtle scare. He's fun as hell to draw. And all that while wearing a nice suit. THAT is why I like the Slenderman and why I love his Mythos. Not because I want him to be my waifu. Please don't mistake all female Slenderfans for Slenderman Fangirls, because then I'll have to find you and shove lye into your windpipe. ^w^
  • Annoying Fan #2 - The Fetishist: Oh. Dear. God. Please don't get me started on these creeps. Look, it's okay to have tentacle or suit fetishes. It's okay to have kidnapping or ravishment fantasies. It's even okay to have a sexual attraction to monsters or trees or silent creatures or whatever. I don't honestly care what you're into. But please, PLEASE do not share it with me. I don't want to hear about it. I don't want to read your slashfic. I don't want to see your tentacle porn drawing. Keep it away from me. And for the love of God, STOP SAYING RAPE IS HOT. You're using the wrong word. The word you're looking for is "Ravishment", not "Rape". Ravishment is when you are roleplaying or fantasizing about a scenario in which someone is having their way with you sexually, and the consent is basically mentally implied. Rape, however, is a crime, and a terrible crime at that. What you're doing when you say that "rape is hot" is discrediting and giving an outright slap in the face to everyone who has ever been sexually abused, and that's not okay. EVER. Please, learn better words for this. Look, I understand the appeal of the ravishment fantasy, really. I understand the fetish behind being a dom to someone's sub; I'd be lying if I said I've never had those same feelings, because I'm human and a strong woman to boot, and sometimes people like to fantasize about different power dynamics in the bedroom. That's okay and I won't judge you for that. But see, the thing about a ravishment fantasy or ravishment roleplay is that it's consensual. You consenting to someone tying you to a bedpost and having their way with you is very, VERY different than someone you don't know or want near you pinning you bodily, pulling off your clothing, and proceeding to have sex with you without your permission. The same thing applies to the Slenderman. I don't care if you wanna fetishize him, I really don't. But please stop saying you want him to "rape" you when you are obviously implying that you'd give consent. Plus, having tentacles and kidnapping people does NOT automatically mean he's a rapist, and it sure as hell doesn't mean he's a pedo. The former is because you've seen WAY too much hentai (and that is NOT what Slenderfans mean when we say he "takes" people), and the latter is disgusting, sick, and wrong, and you all know it. I'm not saying you can't give the character primal needs like other creatures, that's okay if you write it well. But please, stop calling it "rape" when you should be calling it "ravishment".
    • So, Who ISN'T This Fan?: Anyone who is a Slenderfan and admits to having a tentacle, ravishment, kidnapping, bondage, monster, or suit fetish. Look, if Suzy Slenderfan just so happens to get turned on by guys in nice suits, that doesn't necessarily mean her fetish applies to the Slenderman. It might, but it also might not, and as long as she keeps her fantasizing to herself I have no issue with it and neither should you. That's her prerogative. It's only an issue to me if she starts spamming it everywhere or starts talking about it all of the time; then she has an issue that needs resolving, or else she really, REALLY needs to get laid. She can't really help what happens to turn her on. That kind of thing is kind of involuntary. So as long as she doesn't openly say she wants Slendy to "rape" her or start talking non-stop about her fetish, I don't care. Go have all the dirty, pervy thoughts you want about this character, you're hardly the only Slenderfan who's done so. Just don't make me want to shove a sock into your windpipe.
  • Annoying Fan #3 - The Ignorant Gamer: Okay, this one really chafes me because they not only give every newcomer to the Mythos a bad rap, they also give the Slenderman page-collecting games a bad rap. This is the "fan" who insists they know Slenderman up and down, in and out, backwards and forwards like the back of their hand... simply because they played the games Slender: The Eight Pages and Slenderman's Shadow. Look, I love those games because I love being jumpscared and they're a great way to pass some time for me... but no. The truth of the matter is, whether you want to admit it or not, the Slenderman did not originate from those games. The character was created in a forum contest by a guy named Victor Surge, and there are MORE than enough series, blogs, creepypastas, and stories out there that have existed LONG before those games. The Slenderman and his Mythos have existed since at least 2009. That's nearly four years now, three prior to those games. So no, the Slenderman was definatively and absolutely NOT created by Mark J. Hadley, and to insinuate such ignores and insults the countless older Slenderfans, vlog-filmers, and blog-authors out there who will gladly point out how very, very wrong you are. There's not even anything you can argue about any of these facts, and if you choose to then I'll ignore you and walk away, because sorry, but you don't know jack and you're obviously too ignorant to want to learn more about the Mythos. I can't respect someone who can't admit they're wrong when presented with the facts. If you really believe that the Slenderman came from these games and you really are unwilling to do any more fact-searching or research on the Mythos, then I'm sorry, but you are not a Slenderfan in my eyes. What you are is a S:TEP fan, or a Slenderman's Shadow fan. But you are not a Slenderfan. This includes people who only watch one series and don't read or watch anything else, or people who only read the Creepypastas but don't read or watch any other stories. What constitutes a Slenderfan is an individual who enjoys the Mythos as a whole, or many different aspects of the Mythos - for example, someone like me who enjoys the Creepypastas, the games, several vlogs, and short stories about the character, or someone who reads many Slenderblogs but also watches a few long-running series. As long as you like the Mythos as a whole and not just one specific part of it, you're a Slenderfan. If you're not looking at the whole picture and interested in learning more, then sorry, but you're not a Slenderfan. I respect you and I won't judge you, but you can't call yourself a Slenderfan when you don't at least try to learn more about the central entity of the Mythos from more than one series, venue, or story.
    • So, Who ISN'T This Fan?: Anyone who happens to like S:TEP or Slenderman's Shadow, or anyone who happened to get into the Mythos through a popular LPer. Um, hello, I enjoy those games. I don't care if you don't like them, to me they're good games and I have fun playing them and getting scared, because jumpscares REALLY get me badly and I am specifically playing those games to be startled. They're short and at least tangentially relate to my interests, so why the hell wouldn't I play them if I like them? I in no way think they're the best thing since sliced bread, because they do have flaws and I acknowledge that. I'm not saying you have to like them, but please, don't think the games are bad just because of a few idiot fans. And please don't lump me in with said idiot fans just because I came into the Mythos and got interested in it through those games. Nobody's forcing you to like, watch videos of, or play them, so can't you try to be at least a little respectful to those of us that want to instead of blindly assuming we're all morons? It really hurts when you imply I'm a bad person for liking the games; I really don't understand all of ire they get sometimes. But I know why they get it, and the problem is people who don't do the research. But I'm not one of those people just because I like the games. So please get your facts straight and cut me and others some slack.
  • Annoying Fan #4 - The Hardcore Purist: I. Freaking. Hate. These. People. They are so rigid, so inflexible, so annoyingly jerkass in their behavior sometimes that I just want to burn them all alive. These folks will insist that there's only one way to enjoy the Mythos, and will say that if you're a newcomer, you're bad; if you liked the games, you're bad; if you don't like the right series or blogs or disliked one of the Big Five Vlogs/Big Three Blogs, you're bad. These people insist you're "not a true fan" if you don't do some arbitrary list of things they personally think you should do. They act like hipsters, hating things like Proxies for being "too mainstream" instead of actual reasons like "they're too alike across series" or "there's not enough interesting backstory given to them". They act like elitist snobs, sometimes using seniority in the fandom and throwing their weight around, but all their complaints and criticisms always amount to the same thing - "I'm right because I've been around longer or seen more Slenderstories than you, therefore I am always right and you are always going to be wrong." These are the people that think I'm an asshole for liking the games. These are the people who refuse to listen to me just because I'm a newer fan. These are the people who won't even so much as look at me without sneering if I admit that I disliked EverymanHYBRID (which I personally didn't care for because of the fact that it was TOO MUCH of an ARG and I got into it too late in the game, which is kind of like walking in on the end of a movie you wanted to see). And they are complete and utter pains in the ass. Listen folks - nobody likes someone who wants you to be exactly like them, nor do they appreciate you telling them to "stop having fun, guys". Just because I draw one little picture of Slenderman face(less)-palming or joke that he only wants a hug is not an excuse for you to ride my ass. Just because I occasionally call him Slendy as a nickname does not mean I care any less about the Mythos or am worth any less as a fan. I honestly don't even get why calling him "Slendy" bothers you so damn much, it's only a nickname, and to be quite frankly honest, I use it in the same way people refer to faeries as "The Fair Folk" - because I like the irony of it. I similarly use terms like "Our Slender Friend" and "The Slender One" for the same reason, and I also use names that I think have a nice ring to them (like "Tall, Pale, And Faceless") or even established names (like "Der Ritter"). Didn't think of that one, did ya, douchebag? So go bother someone else who is more annoying than this relatively average newbie Slenderfan, because I could use a good show tonight. I'm terribly bored and need something to watch burn.
    • So, Who ISN'T This Fan?: The hardcore Slenderfan or old-timer who's been in the Mythos from the start. There's plenty of folks out there that have very strong feelings for what they like and dislike in the Mythos, and that's okay. You're entitled to have your opinion. Sometimes, these are fans that have been around for a very, VERY long time, the grandfathers and grandmothers of the Mythos fans, so to speak. But the big difference between these folks and the Hardcore Purist is that they actually value other peoples' opinions. They aren't gonna hate you or call you out just for liking something they don't. They won't act like you're worthless just because you got into the Mythos through the games. They aren't total jerks and they won't be complete assholes, they just happen to have very strong opinions about what they like and don't like. Just because someone hates the $20 meme (I'm getting sick of it too) does not make them a Hardcore Purist. Just because someone dislikes the games or newbies in general does not make them a Hardcore Purist. It just makes them opinionated, and as long as they don't purposefully say you and anyone else like you is a horrible person, then they are not Hardcore Purists and therefore not douchebags. They may or may not still be assholes, though.

And I think that's really enough, thanks. So, Snicket out, see y'all later.

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