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Why Do Men Become Stupid Around Christmas?

Posted on December 22, 2012 at 3:25 PM

I have to confess to my male readers that I will never, never understand why you guys seem to think we womenfolk suck at directions if we get lost so much as once. Seriously. I know this is a common complaint about men and directions, or women and directions, but dear God - I never realized how serious it was until this weekend.

First though, I need to tell you about my boyfriend.

Now, my boyfriend is not a stupid man, in fact he's quite intelligent and actually is going for a Doctorate in Internal Medicine. He has completed several higher level mathematics courses with very high marks and even managed to get out of the notoriously difficult Organic Chemistry classes at my college with good grades. He's also about as nerdy as I am and is a nerd for several of the same things as me (video games, Doctor Who, Batman in general, and Chemistry). He's a quiet guy that is usually very cool-tempered, kind of the opposite of my sometimes fiery personality. He is also really, really adorkable and just an all around very sweet guy. In short I love the guy to bits and he's crazy about me, so it seems like we're a great fit for each other. We also share the same workplace, since he works at the same fast food restauraunt branch that I do, so despite now attending different colleges we do still get to see each other fairly often.

The reason I'm telling you this is because this weekend my boyfriend, whom I will refer to as D from now on, decided to do the stupid stereotypical male thing. All because I am driving up to his family's cabin on Christmas, and because I got lost and had to call him the last year trying to find his driveway, which is located in a rural area on a half-unpaved road and secluded by these creepy trees so thick you'd be extremely surprised if the Slenderman wasn't hiding in them somewhere.

So, my boyfriend's dad got a nice Garmin GPS last Christmas to help him navigate places, because old stereotypes die hard. The GPS is really cool and everything, and I've heard good things about that particular brand, so of course I was happy for him. However, because I got lost the last year and D is not only a hardcore romantic that worries about me if I even so much as have a bad day at work, but similar in personality to me in terms of how he thinks things through (and in terms of absent-mindedness), he decided that apparently Sugary needs to borrow the Garmin to get to his family's cabin several hours away and decided to text me in a conversation that went something like this:

D: Hi love you should come up around 2 everyone will be arriving around then also I will give (Manager he is friends with) my Garmin don't forget it LOL
Me: That's nice D, thank you. But I don't want to lose it so just email me directions or txt me the address. <3
D: LOL no this is easier here's my Garmin!
Me: D, really, I don't need it, I can just Mapquest the location and get directions there. Believe it or not I don't really suck that much at directions.
D: But it's dangerous to go alone, take my Garmin!
Me: Is it even gonna be safe in (manager's) drawer at work? What if someone takes it?
D: ^w^ ... Huh? What did you say? I was distracted by the thought of how pretty you are, Snicket... <3 Oh, by the way, here's my Garmin! 8D
Me: ... But I don't need to...
D: Don't forget to pick it up at work LOL I'll see you on Christmas Eve love you. <3

Long story short, I took the damn Garmin home from work. Every manager in the store thought it was D's Christmas gift to me and as a result I ended up having to explain what was going on to everyone. I don't plan on using it unless D decides that Mapquest is too hard for me, a Chemist that can turn molecular structures around in my freaking head and got an A in a Polymers and Plastics class just by being there and knowing what was actually happening at the molecular level, never mind a freaking map with directions in plain black and white.

I love you to pieces D, but sometimes I really, really don't understand how your brain decides that my making one error in the past suddenly means I need all of the help doing it again in the future. XD

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